I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
