i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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