You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
where am i from again
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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