talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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