North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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