Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

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  (206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f
  Replies (21) Good night (1603) Bad night (885)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3899) Bad night (1265)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.

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  (416): girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently. http://tfl.nu/g9ad
  Replies (23) Good night (1631) Bad night (4054)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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  (717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp
  Replies (28) Good night (4806) Bad night (2054)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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  (508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02
  Replies (22) Good night (5275) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??

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  (732): Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen?? http://tfl.nu/vnhk
  Replies (14) Good night (4614) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ill be there in 5.

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  (812): through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife. (847): ill be there in 5. http://tfl.nu/y9p2
  Replies (26) Good night (8876) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

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  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (68) Good night (18456) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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  (916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq
  Replies (5) Good night (3554) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (3049) Bad night (790)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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  (704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7
  Replies (10) Good night (1640) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".

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  (857): You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar". http://tfl.nu/eikz
  Replies (2) Good night (1386) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.

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  (804): My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums. http://tfl.nu/wgt8
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  he sneezed into my face mid-kiss

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Bless his heart

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  (931): he sneezed into my face mid-kiss (423): Bless his heart http://tfl.nu/kc79
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (449)

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