She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy