I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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