And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
I touched a dick in church today
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??