Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have feelings that need drinking.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please