chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.