i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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