Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
