Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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