Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
