Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
