But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
