I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
