my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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