My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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