Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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