well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
