I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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