i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
