Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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