dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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