Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
