Buhtt sex?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
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I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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