two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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