Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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