Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
