are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
