It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
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She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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