Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize