lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
