my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
