Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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