WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize