Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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