just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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