I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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