i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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