i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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