you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late