Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY