If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
she peed on how many people?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...