How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?