I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
