Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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