I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just invented taco cereal.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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