Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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