Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize