I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
