May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
