carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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