Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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