Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
