I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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