I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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