this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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