I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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