If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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