dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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