im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
