so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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