If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
where am i from again
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
