everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
