her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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