my mouth tastes like poor choices
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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