You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
