Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
