What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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