What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
