nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
